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« masterofcrow » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Uldren Sov ✦ Destiny 2
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From:

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It takes Boone a while of staring at his phone in his room, but after his talk with V he figures the least he can do is try. So he finally texts Uldren when he knows the other man is home, too.

Can we talk?

He almost regrets sending it at first, and he fiddles anxiously with his blunt nails as he waits for a reply. He needs to apologise for what happened in Ballymallet- but if Uldren won't accept that then Boone won't push it.

From:

forsakenprince

Uldren was trying to sleep when his phone went off. When he wasn't trying desperately to cling to the feeling he kept assuming was his sister and trying to force her to speak to him again. She had grown quiet more often than not, he felt her less with each passing day.

The sound of the phone vibrating startled him. He checked it and hesitated for a moment, then responded.

Yes. Would you prefer to talk over this or would you rather we speak in the common area?

It's called a living room Uldren.

From:

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Meet me in the living room.

As much as Boone would like to hide behind a screen, that feels like a cop out and not like a real apology. He needs Uldren to know he means it.

He slides off his bed and pads into the main room, quiet as ever. There, he stands with his arms folded and his lips pursed as he tries to figure out what he's supposed to say.

From:

forsakenprince

There was about a minute's delay before Uldren stepped into the living room - he had to find a shirt to pull over his head and he might have taken a moment to make sure his hair wasn't a complete fucking mess.

He did eventually pad out into the living room and, mirroring Boone's body language, crossed his arms. He didn't walk too far into the room because he isn't so sure what to actually do. His expression was very guarded but lacked the dour edge it normally carried. He didn't say anything as he allowed Boone the time he needed to figure out what he wanted to say.

From:

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Boone doesn't speak for a good moment, lost in how to phrase what he wants to say. He doesn't like to just plunge headfirst into talking when it's important; he needs time to think it through, after all. Eventually he speaks, voice oddly level despite the fact that he's embarrassed to have to bring what happened back up again.

"About the other night... I'm sorry for springing that on you. Makes sense you'd be confused, and I'm not surprised you pulled back."

He tries not to use words like rejected because he's not trying to guilt trip Uldren into feeling bad for him, he just wants to clear the air.

"And I shouldn't have let you walk off alone, either. Don't doubt that you can take care of yourself but with the way our heads were being messed with... should've called you back."

Or grabbed him. Or something. Anything but letting him leave.

"So... yeah. You don't have to feel good about what happened, I sure as hell don't. But I... you were right. We get along. Would be a shame to lose that.

...That's, uh. All I have to say, I think."

He rubs his forehead tiredly. He isn't good at this but he thinks that was an okay apology. Now to stand around awkwardly and hope Uldren accepts it.

From:

forsakenprince

Uldren looked Boone over after he'd finished speaking. For once he didn't speak immediately and took a moment to mull over what he wanted to say himself. He wasn't sure how to really encapsulate what it was he wanted to say - he wasn't about to admit to what really happened and he didn't want to think about Jolyon again. He spoke slowly and quietly.

"I should not have responded the way I did. In truth, my response came from a place of surprise." He was careful not to say that he would have liked to explore it further because he was unsure where Boone was now that they were both free of the potion's effect.

"Don't feel bad about letting me walk away. Even with the potion, I was fine." Of all of the things that happened that evening that was what bothered him the least, truly. He was more bothered that Boone was the one that tried to get up and leave.

"Things have been uncomfortable since then but I still stand by what I said. I would rather not see our relationship ruined over a... Misunderstanding."

From:

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Boone nods once, unfolding his arms; perhaps in an attempt to make himself seem less closed-off.

"I don't want us to stop talking or anything, either. Just... wasn't sure how to make it right." Part of him balks at the fact that he tried, though. Something bad will happen, it always does. But he's so tired of being alone, and he can't keep his promise to the Courier if being alive is truly that sad.

Even if he's sure this will only play out one way in the end.

He sighs, wishing he'd kept his arms folded because he feels oddly vulnerable like this. "We're good, then?" He scuffs his foot against the ground awkwardly. "Cause I, uh... got you more wine. Thought maybe we could... hang out. Or something."

He'd had to fish the last bottle Uldren threw away out of the trash to see which one he liked, but he remembers it now.

From:

forsakenprince

Uldren's arms remain folded for a little longer - just until Boone admitted that he didn't know how to make things right. When he uncrossed them his hands found their way into his pockets. He went from stiff into that same perfunctory stance he'd had before all of this happened.

"Yes, we're fine." Well, there might be a little lingering awkwardness between them for the next couple of days, but they'd get through it. Most likely. Both of these guys were absolutely worthless at their feelings.

There was something charming about the way Boone was disarming himself and the way he apologized. He'd even found a peace offering based on the little bit that Boone knew of himself. He couldn't recall the last time someone had tried with him. Surely it wasn't since he'd pushed Jol away... He pushed the thought from his mind. He smiled slightly with a hint of amusement at the awkward ask.

"I would like that." More than he wanted to admit out loud, really. He moved whenever Boone did and fell into place on the couch as he did, leaving room for Boone if he wanted to join him.

From:

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Boone seems to release a breath as Uldren sits down, and he sits beside him after heading out to grab Uldren's wine, his whiskey, and two glasses. He thinks they could both use a drink after that.

"Wasn't interrupting anything, was I?" He nods towards where Uldren had exited his room. "Were you trying to sleep in there?" It's not particularly late, but they hadn't had much reason to sit together since Boone had briefly screwed everything up. At least, he hopes it was brief. Still feels a little awkward, but not half as much as before.

From:

forsakenprince

Unless Boone particularly refused him, Uldren took the wine and opened it, pouring his own glass while Boone poured his whiskey. Regardless, he was relaxing into the moment much more now that the talk was over and they were sitting together again. Uldren was no stranger to friction and confrontation but he would be lying to say that he enjoyed it. He was used to being the bad guy and to being loved only because he was a proxy and some piece of his heart knew just how tired of it he was, so the thought of repairing this relationship - the first time he was here of his own volition and liked because he was just him - meant a lot to him.

"You weren't interrupting anything important. I was resting, yes." But only for lack of anything else to do and to avoid the distance he felt. "Though it was only for lack of anything to do."

He needed to find other ways to fill his time. Searching for a way home was proving a worthless endeavor. He had an obsessive tendency to him, but even he knew when it was time to perhaps step back and reassess. Finding something else to fill his time wasn't a terrible idea.

"The evenings have been dull without our little talks. I admit that I have missed them."

From:

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Boone lets Uldren pour his own glass, focusing on his own. He's relaxing more too, glad that the serious stuff is over. He's feeling kind of accomplished for actually talking about something like this, though it doesn't quite reach his expression.

"Yeah... me too." He's not much of a talker usually, but the chats with Uldren have been enjoyable. Even if they were talking about nothing important, it was just nice.

"I don't really, uh. Talk with anyone else. Wasn't great at it back home, not great at it here. But it's... I like talking to you." He quickly takes a drink from his glass, wondering if he explained that well enough. Was it weird? He glances over at Uldren to gauge his reaction, though admittedly he's not great at reading people- he can tell when there's a subtle shift in them, but he doesn't tend to know what it correlates to.

From:

forsakenprince

Uldren drank while Boone spoke. He liked that they managed to talk and neither of them dug too far into each other's history. They knew enough about each other to have a mutual understanding that neither wished to really delve deeper into their own pasts.

He was hard to read on a good day: always guarded and wearing a mask of sarcastic ease when around anyone outside of his people. That Boone was somewhat similar and deigned Uldren worth conversing with made Uldren's face soften a little but it was minute. It was not lost on him that part of it may very well be the fact they lived in close quarters are were required to interact on some level. It hardly mattered.

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit." This was definitely the first time he'd paid Boone a compliment. He finally took a drink of his wine before he leaned back and looked at Boone as he let his arm rest on the back of the couch towards Boone. He might be testing the waters; Uldren was left curious after what had happened. How much of it was the potion and how much of it was actually Boone? "You make conversation easy."

From:

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Honestly, if Boone doesn't want to talk with someone he won't- whether he lives with them or not. But Uldren is intelligent and charismatic, and has a way of making Boone feel at ease.

He seems surprised at the compliment. Not many people have told him that; Carla had said as much and so had Manny, but that's two people in over twenty years. "You think so?" He considers it, sipping his whiskey.

"I think the only people who've told me that were... people I felt comfortable with." Comfortable enough to socialise with well despite his usual inability to do so. "Guess it's the same with you, too."

He doesn't really react to the arm, but that's more of a good thing than a bad thing. He might have tensed up if it bothered him, or moved away. He's aware of it, though. He vaguely wonders if Uldren is just trying to get comfortable. He can't honestly gauge his own feelings right now on whether or not he'd want it to be anything else.

From:

forsakenprince

Uldren wasn't really sure what to say to Uldren's response. He wasn't someone that spoke in platitudes and he tried to mean what it was that he said. Uldren's impenetrable expression shifted when Boone admitted he was comfortable with him though. His features softened slightly, lips parted a little in surprise, brows rose.

People, at best, tolerated Uldren. They didn't like him, they didn't find him pleasant, they sure weren't comfortable with him. Not in recent years, anyway. Only his sister genuinely enjoyed being in his presence and even their relationship was filled with disagreements on a good day. But that was such a relationship between a Queen and her subject, right?

Uldren left his arm to rest there, for now, letting Boone grow used to the idea of it being there. He didn't wish to move too fast and scare Boone or cause what had happened between them in Ballymallet to be reversed.

"Most people don't find me a comforting presence," he said quietly. He drained his glass of wine rather unceremoniously and pulled away to pour himself another glass.

From:

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Boone goes silent for a moment, mulling over what to say. Asking after Uldren's friends seems nosy at best and Boone decides to keep it focused on the two of them.

"Well, guess I'm not most people." He's never really thought of himself as the type to stand out but he supposes in this case, he does. He finishes his own drink and pours another, leaning back against the chair.

"If I didn't like having you around I'd have moved. Not like that's hard to do here." He could probably find a house for himself if he wanted. But he enjoys it just being the two of them. Uldren minds his own business, is a pretty decent drinking partner and doesn't push for interaction when he knows Boone doesn't want it.

He considers moving closer, but figures if Uldren wants to sync up he can initiate that. Boone doesn't want to push it after what happened in Ballymallet.

From:

forsakenprince

Uldren isn't sure what to say by the time Boone was done speaking. He felt pretty conflicted about everything: he wanted to pursue whatever the hell this mess was, but he also had a strong sense that he shouldn't. It would be a distraction from finding a way home and getting back to his plan to free his sister. To free Mara. He could be with her again...

But what did taking a little time for himself really hurt? everythingobrothermine Why couldn't he enjoy himself a little? havingfundoesntgetyouhomeobrothermine Surely his sister must be okay, right? imtrappedicantgetoutineedyouobrothermind A hero... saviorofthequeenherofotheawokenyouwillbelovedobrothermine

Uldren had to ever so slightly shook his head to press the voices away so that he could think straight about what was going on right now instead of focusing on the whispering. If he didn't enjoy living with Boone he would have moved out as well. Boone kept his nose out of Uldren's business and the conversation was usually pretty surface level, they figured out a way to generate manna in a way that they could agree on, they were good drinking buddies, he helped Uldren keep a clearer head.

"I guess you're not," he said as he moved closer, not quite realizing what he was doing until he'd already done it. He was belatedly worried that Boone might recoil, but it was too late to do anything about it. He wasn't really sure what else to say. "I, uh, admit I probably would be somebody's sculpture by now if not for you."

From:

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He wonders why Uldren shakes his head, and just as Uldren moves closer he reaches out as if to put a steadying hand on his shoulder. He stops himself as Uldren gets closer, but there's still concern in his expression. He wants to ask if he's okay, but he seems to have righted himself, so... maybe Boone was just reading too much into it?

In any case, he realises they're pretty close again, and more shockingly realises he doesn't really mind. This feels different to the times before when they've just held hands, and he'd be a fool not to recognise the lingering memory in his mind of when they'd kissed for that brief second- he still feels Uldren's lips on his if he really focuses on it, but he tries to push that away.

"Yeah... I'd be one too, I bet." He lowers his hand and sets it beside Uldren's. There's a rising guilt in his chest with every move he makes, thinking of Carla, of how it ended for her. But Uldren isn't Carla. Hope mingles with the guilt. "Heh. You'd make a better statue than me. Nicer to look at." There's a rare smile as he looks away, down at their hands. His fingers fiddle with the fabric of the couch as if unsure what to do with them. "Kinda glad we're both still moving, though."

From:

forsakenprince

When Boone didn't recoil from the familiarity and closeness it was a relief to Uldren. He knew that Boone could be rather standoffish and touch averse at times and his concern was getting close like this would push him away, especially after so soon an apology for what happened. His fingers brushed against Boone's, and if that seems okay his hand would slowly cover the other man's as he fiddled with the couch. Fingers aligned as if he would lace their fingers together but that didn't come.

The thought of Jolyon crossed his mind as their hands touched. He hurt to think about, centuries of relationship, anyway, gone after their trip to the Garden together. And the Garden was certainly more important, yes, and he didn't know why Jolyon didn't understand that. Maybe they really had just run out of things to say to each other after so long. Maybe Jolyon just grew tired of Uldren's play and curiosity. Maybe it was time they found someone new.

"I think you are, again, selling yourself short." Boone wasn't as unattractive as he seemed to think he was. He was strong and a bit rough and there was certainly something attractive about that. "I much prefer you here with me, though."

A pause.

"I don't think you'd be much for conversation as a statue, I mean," he hastily added. You know, in case the tone of what he said before was a little too comfortable.

From:

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The hand on his is comforting. He missed this kind of touch, and after denying himself any kind of contact with others for so long... it's been two years since Carla died. He thought he could shut himself away forever, and maybe he might have, but this place... it forced Boone to get closer to Uldren than he might have let himself under normal circumstances. And now when he glances up, he sees a man that he's become rather fond of.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be much good for a lot of things if I couldn't move." Is that innuendo? Boone isn't actually smooth enough to have meant it that way, but if Uldren wanted to take it as such he'd let it slide.

"I, uh. I like being here with you, too." It feels strange to admit it and internally he's still partly screaming at himself to retreat, to hide. This can only go wrong. And after Carla, does he deserve this? But the part of him that feels warm under Uldren's touch and finds comfort in his gaze- it's winning out, slowly but surely.

He turns his hand over underneath Uldren's in order to lace their fingers together properly. For the Manna, he tells himself. He can feel it now, building between them. Yeah... just for the Manna.

From:

forsakenprince

If Uldren were to be honest with himself he would have admitted that he missed the even menial affection he afforded Boone as well, but he wasn’t honest with himself. He was confident that this was something that he was going to regret or would otherwise go wrong just like it had with Jolyon. People ran out of things to say or their attention was drawn elsewhere. This wasn’t going to be a permanent thing, and even if it was Boone was only human.

He still liked the contact even if he didn’t want to admit to it though. He felt a pull when Boone admitted he enjoyed their combined company as well. He couldn’t recall the last time someone other than his sister more than tolerated his presence and he felt an ache in him. He didn’t like being alone but nobody understood his purpose and what he was here for. They didn’t understand his loyalty. The thoughts floated away as Boone turned his hand over and laced their fingers together. Uldren could feel a heat at the back of his neck and he could feel the wine going to his head.

He set his glass on the table as he considered what to do next. He knew that doing anything could be a complete mistake and risked messing everything up, but he also wanted to be selfish. He wanted to feel better and the Manna felt good when they were doing minimal syncing so a kiss would be more, right? And that would feel even better, right? And it was all just for the synchrony and manna and saving this doomed place, right? A kiss to be a hero, right? It wasn’t self serving. It wasn’t a lack of impulse control. He just had to do it and have no regrets. He just had to do it or he would forever wonder.

Uldren used his free hand to gently tilt Boone’s face towards him and pressed their lips together much as Boone had done when they were in Balleymallet, all worries be damned. All he could hope was if Boone didn’t want this he would be gracious and polite.

From:

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He had a feeling things were heading this way, so when Uldren finally leans in and kisses him it's not a surprise. He does pause for a moment, a second of wondering if this is the right thing to do.

He thinks of Carla- would she approve? Surely not but... she could understand, right? He's in a world where not doing this kind of thing gets you killed, and Carla would never want Boone to crystallise. He knows she loved him and wouldn't want him to suffer. Maybe at this point he's just looking desperately and selfishly for reasons to kiss Uldren back, though.

Maybe that's reason enough? Just that he... wants to? The Manna between them is so inviting, the whiskey making him feel warm. Uldren's lips on his make his chest ache with guilt, but there's a flutter of something else too. A little thrill amongst the confusion. He decides to chase it.

He squeezes Uldren's hand, pulls away to set his own glass down, and then moves in close again and initiates his own kiss. To hell with it. A part of him that perhaps wasn't there before he arrived here now realises what he wants, and he's going to go for it. His touch is surprisingly gentle as his fingers thread through Uldren's hair, before his hand settles at the back of his neck.

From:

forsakenprince

Uldren could feel Boone's hesitation and it gave him second thoughts. Did he just mess up? Was this about to go south in a similar way that it did for Boone? Had he just torn down Boone's entire apology and set them back to that awkward place they had been at? He could feel his gut twist into a knot as he felt regret wash over him. He wasn't sure why he was upset by this, really. Boone was relatively close to nothing to him in the grand scheme of things (he tried to tell himself) and had no substantial basis for a relationship more than acquaintances doing what they needed to get by (he tried to convince himself).

It was only because Boone squeezed his hand that Uldren didn't lose all heart. He was still worried about it, yes, but then Boone leaned in for another kiss. He wouldn't admit out loud how relieved that made him feel and how much he found himself wanting Boone to kiss him again. The way the other man's fingers threaded into his hair and settled at the back of his neck only made his lips tentatively part because he wanted more. While there was a firmness in his touch, he was also attentive and would back off if Boone hesitated, push forward if he found Boone wanting.

Tentatively, his free hand came to rest on Boone's knee. While Uldren definitely had no intention of pushing this any further on his own, he did want Boone to know that he was willing to entertain more if he wanted. Now or in the future.

From:

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His breath hitches a little as the kiss deepens, and certainly he wants more. He doesn't know how much more exactly, but the Manna flowing through him is so pleasant and the feel of Uldren so close to him is exhilirating. He thought he'd forgotten what it was like to feel the giddy rush of kissing someone... but his tongue works better like this than it ever will when he's trying to talk, that's for sure. It slides over Uldren's in a practiced way, and he lets out a soft sigh through his nose.

Manna aside, he likes this. He likes Uldren, he's good company and could perhaps be called a good friend one day. He doesn't want to consider they could be more in the future, but he hopes they do this again. Though he worries that getting too close to Uldren will be a mistake somehow... he tries to push that aside for now. Uldren is far older and more experienced in looking after himself. The Courier didn't die, so maybe Uldren will be fine too?

His hand tangles in Uldren's hair and his kiss becomes a little more aggressive, and he hopes he's not pushing too far. He's just caught up in the moment, caught up in actually feeling positive about something for a change.

From:

forsakenprince

That it all seemed so well-received truly was much more than what Uldren even hoped for. He hadn't expected this eagerness and want from Boone, not by a long shot. The initial hesitancy was more in line, and outright rejection was the more realistic expectation. That he could put his tongue to use for more than just biting snark and near enough to empty small talk was a relief and very welcome change as he felt his pulse start to quicken. It had been a long time since he'd done this and he was discovering how much he'd missed it.

Some part of him liked to think he would be just as enthusiastic with anyone else but a very tiny piece of him knew that wasn't true no matter how much he wanted it to be. There had to be something present for Uldren to go with this and, somehow, Boone had managed it. Uldren would figure out ways to dismiss it and minimize it later, sure, but right now he wasn't thinking too much except for how good the Manna felt, how much he liked Boone's warmth, how much he was enjoying Boone's mouth.

Boone's assertiveness was met with an almost purr of pleasure from Uldren as approval. His hand slid up to Boone's thigh as he awkwardly pressed himself closer and matched Boone with the kiss. Uldren didn't even realize the way his fingers slightly gripped Boone's leg - mostly for stabilization, yes, but not solely for that purpose - and the way his thumb ever so slightly stroked his inner thigh.

From:

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He might have stopped here, might have pulled away- but Uldren's thumb on his inner thigh causes of spark of desire to run through him, and he has to bite back a surprised moan. It's all so... intense. Is it the Manna? His Gembond? Just Uldren? He can't tell but it's so hard to make himself pull back.

So he doesn't. He decides to see how far he can go with this, letting go of Uldren's hand so that he can rest it on his shoulder and keep him in place. He'll let Uldren back away if he wants to, but while he seems eager Boone decides he'll hold him to that.

He finds he wants Uldren's hand to move closer, his mind focused on it far more than he should be. Another wave of want rushes through him and though he vaguely realises it's not quite the norm for him, he's not fighting it either. The idea of Uldren's hand on him almost makes him shiver, and his mind starts to wander until he's slowly starting to press against his pants a little. He doesn't notice, not yet.