If Uldren were to be honest with himself he would have admitted that he missed the even menial affection he afforded Boone as well, but he wasn’t honest with himself. He was confident that this was something that he was going to regret or would otherwise go wrong just like it had with Jolyon. People ran out of things to say or their attention was drawn elsewhere. This wasn’t going to be a permanent thing, and even if it was Boone was only human.
He still liked the contact even if he didn’t want to admit to it though. He felt a pull when Boone admitted he enjoyed their combined company as well. He couldn’t recall the last time someone other than his sister more than tolerated his presence and he felt an ache in him. He didn’t like being alone but nobody understood his purpose and what he was here for. They didn’t understand his loyalty. The thoughts floated away as Boone turned his hand over and laced their fingers together. Uldren could feel a heat at the back of his neck and he could feel the wine going to his head.
He set his glass on the table as he considered what to do next. He knew that doing anything could be a complete mistake and risked messing everything up, but he also wanted to be selfish. He wanted to feel better and the Manna felt good when they were doing minimal syncing so a kiss would be more, right? And that would feel even better, right? And it was all just for the synchrony and manna and saving this doomed place, right? A kiss to be a hero, right? It wasn’t self serving. It wasn’t a lack of impulse control. He just had to do it and have no regrets. He just had to do it or he would forever wonder.
Uldren used his free hand to gently tilt Boone’s face towards him and pressed their lips together much as Boone had done when they were in Balleymallet, all worries be damned. All he could hope was if Boone didn’t want this he would be gracious and polite.
no subject
He still liked the contact even if he didn’t want to admit to it though. He felt a pull when Boone admitted he enjoyed their combined company as well. He couldn’t recall the last time someone other than his sister more than tolerated his presence and he felt an ache in him. He didn’t like being alone but nobody understood his purpose and what he was here for. They didn’t understand his loyalty. The thoughts floated away as Boone turned his hand over and laced their fingers together. Uldren could feel a heat at the back of his neck and he could feel the wine going to his head.
He set his glass on the table as he considered what to do next. He knew that doing anything could be a complete mistake and risked messing everything up, but he also wanted to be selfish. He wanted to feel better and the Manna felt good when they were doing minimal syncing so a kiss would be more, right? And that would feel even better, right? And it was all just for the synchrony and manna and saving this doomed place, right? A kiss to be a hero, right? It wasn’t self serving. It wasn’t a lack of impulse control. He just had to do it and have no regrets. He just had to do it or he would forever wonder.
Uldren used his free hand to gently tilt Boone’s face towards him and pressed their lips together much as Boone had done when they were in Balleymallet, all worries be damned. All he could hope was if Boone didn’t want this he would be gracious and polite.